It’s easy to get distracted from our goals.

A shiny opportunity presents itself, and while it’s not exactly what you wanted, it checks a few boxes. The timing is interesting. It feels close enough. But you realize it doesn’t fully align with your goals. And if you know yourself well, you also know when you’re about to make a decision rooted in fear more than intention.

What’s at risk when you say yes to misaligned opportunities? It takes longer to get where you actually want to go. There isn’t a straight path to success, but minimizing the scenic routes can certainly help you get there faster.

That shiny scenic route presented itself to me this past week.

I was feeling down on myself. Impatient and frustrated that I haven’t hit my short-term goals yet. Even though I have been taking steps forward, being in the middle of a project can put you too close to it to see the progress. The middle is usually when doubt starts creeping in and you begin wondering why you’re doing it at all.

This is what is known as Kanter’s law of failure in the middle.

I recently watched a video of Yoann Bourgeois that demonstrated this idea. He repeatedly tries to climb a staircase. The goal is clear from the start: reach the top. In the beginning, his movement feels purposeful and hopeful. Then he slips. He falls. He gets close, only to take a few steps backward. Sometimes he loses more ground than he just gained.

What makes the video so powerful is that falling off looks like failure. Sliding backward feels like failure. But nothing about the fall means the climb is over. Each slip teaches you balance, timing, restraint, and rhythm. Those lessons aren’t visible, but they do compound.

Sometimes it feels like we’re going in circles, but the reality is that we’re just learning how to move forward. Just because it may look or feel like failure doesn’t mean your goal isn’t worthy of pursuit, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re incapable.

Most people mistake messy progress for proof they’re not cut out for it. Kanter would say the middle feels like failure because expectations are shaped by the excitement of the beginning, then reality delivers friction instead of a quick payoff.

There’s a phase where we know enough to see what we’re doing wrong, but not enough yet to fix it consistently. Our awareness grows faster than our ability, and that gap is uncomfortable.

But Bourgeois keeps climbing, not because he avoids falling, but because falling isn’t treated as evidence to stop.

That perspective helped me reframe my thoughts. I’ve taken steps backwards, I’ve gotten off track a few times, but that’s no reason to quit.

Even if you feel like you haven’t been making progress, you have been. Small, intentional steps are still steps forward. What feels like sliding backward is often just a few steps back, not a complete reset.

Another thing that’s helped me stay grounded is trusting the process. I was painting last night, and it reinforced a lesson I’ve been learning across other areas of my life. The excitement at the beginning of a project looks nothing like the middle, when things are messy and unfinished. That’s when doubt shows up and you want to put the brush down. Holding onto why you started, and allowing the outcome to evolve, makes it easier to keep going. Sharing your goals and developments too.

This applies to almost anything.

Sometimes life gets busy and our projects get pushed to the back. Maybe we don’t touch them for a week. Maybe we show up with less energy. As long as we come back and keep taking steps forward, we’re still in it.

If you think something is worthwhile, then it is. Timing and effort aren’t the same thing. Slow progress doesn’t mean wrong direction. The harder question is how you decide when it stops being worth it.

I’m also deeply thankful for the women in my life who believe in me. The women I can share big, dreamy goals with without fearing judgment or projection. Belief multiplies when it’s shared, but not everyone deserves access to your goals. If someone doesn’t believe in your abilities, they don’t need a front-row seat to your process. The right people ground you when your thoughts start floating off, and they celebrate your wins with you.

Having people like that in your corner doesn’t remove the work or the doubts, but it makes the middle easier to stay in.

Because the middle isn’t the problem. Leaving it too soon is.